I’m getting married in 4 days. 4 days!
Oh, things have been crazy!! Sometimes I want to throw it all down and say, You can’t make me do all this. I’m not going to make any of you happy. I’m going to throw it all out the window and forget about it.
Sometimes I can’t stop smiling. I feel giddy and happy and productive. I get excited. I let go and look back and see all the great moments leading up to 4 days from now. A last night with the roommates simply doing what we do best… eating, talking, and ending the night with a spontaneous movie at Mayfaire in our pajamas. A last night in Wilmington spent with that boy I’m crazy about and a bunch of friends at Carolina beach, roasting anything we could over the fire and playing crazy games like telephone shrades. No, I don’t know how to spell shrades. A day with Mom shopping and then stopping at Cookout just to buy sodas with the crushed ice, because it is oh so refreshing. Talking to Mike about stuff, bickering some, working through it, getting frustrated, letting go, laughing, learning and growing from it (oh, the joy of fighting for better communication!)
And then today, randomly, getting the most bizarre and joyous experience of holding a bird. No, not a tame bird. A wild bird that had flown into our glass door and gotten a bit dazed. He was recuperating on our picnic chair and I just sat next to him to make sure he was okay since he didn’t fly away when I came out to check on him. And slowly, I just reached out, got my fingers under his feet, and brought him away from the picnic chair. And we just looked at each other. For five minutes. And then he fluttered away onto a tree branch, and continued to look at me. No, that does not happen every day. Yes, I did try to seek out some big symbolic or spiritual revelation from it. No, I did not come up with one. Except to just enjoy. Enjoy a little moment that doesn’t have to mean anything deep.
People keep telling me to enjoy every moment. And maybe all these moments don’t have to be significant or in-depth. They can just be joyous moments, just because. I like just because. 🙂